I learned a lot when I was planning my wedding – many brides rant about napkin colors or bridesmaids not being helpful or complaining about their soon to be in laws being too demanding.
I didn’t have many complaints. I was rather laid back. I did a lot of things myself, like my save the dates, and my invitations. I didn’t expect a lot of out my bridal party, and I didn’t pick super expensive dresses that were hideous.
My biggest complaint?
The registry.
Many say that registries are supposed to be the funnest part of wedding planning. You know, going around, scanning things, etc..etc….
Unfortunately for me, it felt like nothing we registered for was good enough. My MIL told us the china we registered for wasn’t nice enough because you could get a 8 setting box for $200. For the record, I love our china. Even if it’s sitting on a shelf in the closet.
She then told us that we hadn’t registered for enough expensive things – like waterford, and why didn’t we register for any Wedgewood? The Vera Wang china I originally picked, long before we were engaged to be my china, was just…too trendy for me. I wanted timeless. I wanted practical, and I couldn’t see people doling out for a $250 water pitcher (someone did).
But the main thing I learned from the entire experience was:
1. It’s about what you (as the couple, not just the bride and not just the groom) want together. Don’t let anyone tell you what is acceptable or unacceptable to register for.
2. There’s no such thing as too expensive. There’s also no such thing as registering for too much “stuff.”
3. It’s also, okay to not register. If you’re older, and you’ve got a house hold of stuff that works for you? Register for a honeymoon, register at Amazon, or you know, don’t register at all. But the main thing about registering is that it helps people buy you things – and let me tell you – they want to buy you things! They want to share your special day with you and give gifts to show you their love. It’s weird but it makes sense.
I eventually stood my ground. We kept the china we picked out together, though we did once go with my mother in law to look at china so she could try to change our minds, in the end we stuck with our gut. The biggest thing about marriage – and you learn this in wedding planning – is that it’s what you as the couple want. Not what your families want, or what your bridal party wants, but what you and your fiance want. The faster you learn that, the happier you’ll be. Trust me.
Did you have anyone try to “help” you register?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for mentioning the benefits of a honeymoon registry and describing the attributes behind this increasingly mainstream registry option for engaged couples.
It is great to see how popular the honeymoon registry is becoming. The very first couple that registered with Traveler’s Joy was in 2004. It wasn’t long until we realized there was a large number of engaged couples that were not satisfied with the diversity of the traditional wedding registry market because our growth has continued to soar since we opened for business. Since then, the honeymoon registry concept has grown to become a mainstream option for brides and grooms and the industry has experienced significant growth.
We are proud to have helped tens of thousands of couples honeymoon at destinations they may never have considered – a great feeling for our Members and the Traveler’s Joy team.
I encourage you to contact us with any questions about our service. Most importantly, enjoy your honeymoon!
Best Regards,
Brandon Warner
President & Co-founder
Traveler’s Joy Honeymoon Registry
Traveler’s Joy, Inc.
http://www.travelersjoy.com
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Oh the registry. That was the least fun for me as well. Even the shooting the gun at the UPC symbols was boring! I felt so guilty about asking for things.
We didn’t register for china at all, because we’re not china people – we’re eat in front of the tv with our cute Corelle people. One day I’m sure we’d like to own some but for now, I’m happy.
We didn’t have anything super expensive on our registry either. We were gifted a Waterford crystal picture frame, and while it’s gorgeous, it totally doesn’t fit in our house. I suppose when I finally find a Curio cabinet I like, it will look nice there but for now, it sticks out.
But yes, the marriage is about the couple coming together – no one else.
Wow. That’s absolutely crazy about your MIL. Good for y’all for sticking to your guns on the china. You’ve got to be happy with it. That’s the main thing.
We went to inspect registry items the other weekend, and I am really excited about it. While I don’t know where we will register for china (because we did not find any patterns we liked at Macy’s), we found a lot of useful stuff. And I will definitely be taking into account what you have said here about price not being something to worry about. Because on some of the items, we were like, ‘No way someone is going to purchase this for us.’
I agree, registries should really reflect the couple’s wants and needs, not those of family members or friends. When we got married everyone was pressuring us to make a standard registry full of china, crystal, and stand mixers. But since we had already lived together for 10 years, we didn’t need that kind of stuff. We used myregistry.com to make a honeymoon fund and a home renovations fund and that was it. I’m sure some people were thrown by our non-traditional registry, but in the end the majority of guests contributed to our funds, so it worked out!