Right off the bat when Dave and I got engaged I knew we weren’t going to have your run of the mill wedding. We like to be different, and also didn’t want to pretend that we were super fancy people on our wedding day, since we’re not in every day life. (Why pretend?) Other people, however, seem to have a problem with the fact that we don’t want to play by the rules, so to speak. And thus, the “supposed to”s began.
Dave wants to walk down the aisle with his mom (his dad passed away when he was younger)
Oh no, he’s SUPPOSED TO stand up in front with his best man and someone escorts his mom in.
The guys aren’t wearing tuxedos, they’re wearing black suits with black shirts and different purple ties.
But the same suits,right? They’re all going to get matching suits?
Nah, if they own a black suit, they’re already set. We’re not going to make everyone match.
Everyone’s SUPPOSED TO wear matching suits. You should just send everyone to Men’s Warehouse to get the same thing.
What do you mean the bridal party isn’t wearing the same dresses?
The girls can all go buy a dark purple dress. If they don’t match exactly in color, I don’t care.
Well they should at least all go to David’s Bridal so they can get different dresses in the same shade. They’re SUPPOSED TO be the same shade.
We don’t want favors, we’re having a photo booth, that’s the favor.
But you’re SUPPOSED TO have favors!
I’m supposed to wear a veil (I’m not.) We’re supposed to invite every female that’s invited to the wedding to my bridal shower. (Uhhhh no.) And so forth, and so on. With less than 2 months until the wedding, the “Supposed To”s have slowed, but I’m sure there will still be comments here and there. My question is, why are we SUPPOSED TO do anything? All we’re SUPPOSED TO do is get married! Everything else is a bonus! It shouldn’t matter to anyone but myself, Dave and maybe my parents since they’re footing the bill for this thing, what we do our how we do it. There is no mold that we have to fit into, or ideals that we need to conform to. If we don’t want to do something, or want to do something different, it’s OK! Trust me, it’ll be ok!!
Any of you brides-to-be or wives get the “Supposed To”s when you were planning??
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I recently learned that in Brazilian tradition, the groom walks down the aisle with his mom. And that the bridal party are supposed to NOT match (actually even the color is not meant to be the same).
If anyone asks, say you’re just using a different tradition.
Everyone will have an opinion about your wedding. We had the most trouble with my husbands parents who are very traditionally minded and also paid for most of it. Things were very nice, but there were things that if I had been given more control I would have done them differently. That being said, we still got to have our courthouse ceremony that we liked, I wore yellow at the reception, he ended the night in jeans and a t-shirt, we smashed cake, we didn’t do a garter or bouquet toss…in fact, I bought a bouquet and never touched it for pictures or anything because it just wasn’t me. We didn’t have favors and I don’t think anyone noticed. We set up a kids table which was probably the hit of the night. And we just enjoyed ourselves. That’s the most important part…the enjoyment. It goes by way too fast.
i couldn’t agree with you more, i’m doing a lot of things like you are and so many people are like “what?? they’re not matching! it’s wedding blasphemy!” i totally agree that everything else is a bonus and all we are really supposed to do is get married!
Lacey, I could write you a list of supposed tos a mile long. You are supposed to wear a veil, you are supposed to put on a bus for people to get there, you are supposed to have these people at this table, you are supposed to have a proper wedding band (we had our friends do all the music), you are supposed to do food for the evening guests(they got a platter of sandwiches and cake, and a champagne cocktail. some people thought this was not enough), you are suppose to have a proper photographer and proper photos(we had reportage style, i prefer it). In the end, Dave and I essentially had the wedding we wanted (though we did start off wanting a 50s-sih one, till if found the uber-dress) – his parents, who paid for it, were the only people who actually said we should just do what we want and helped us do it.
. What you are supposed to do is get married and be happy. The day needs to live up to your expectations, and no-one elses. The photobooth idea is amazing!
i’m doing the same thing! i told my bridesmaids to pick out a cute sundress, i’m not wearing a vail, i’m not having a bridal shower, i’m getting married in a different country… haha. you name it, i’m not doing it conventional.
I think I followed the “suppose to”s way too much. Good for you for doing what you want. You won’t regret it!
I know what you mean and in my opinion those “supposed to’s” do not exist!! As long as it’s what you want/feel, nothing else matters! One thing we are doing that comes to mind, we plan on having just a couple people in our wedding party, and I usually see at least 4 people in each of the bride/groom’s sides. Also we’re not doing a band or a DJ< we're just going to fill up an ipod full of tunes
ANd I am making as much stuff as possible! I just want to have fun!
The first thing my sister and mom told me was, “You can’t please everyone, so you just have to please yourselves.” That philosophy has been wonderful for us (it helps to have the family on your side).
We are wedding soul sisters.
My bridesmaids wore black, any style dress.
Mike walked down the aisle with his mom and dad, then I did with my parents.
I wore a second hand dress (“But your wedding dress! You’ll want to cherish it forever and encase it in crystal!”).
My mom was INSANELY supportive, which was great.
Screw supposed tos.